broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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