it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
