girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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