So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
