JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm gonna fight the coyote
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize