New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this just has baby written all over it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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