I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
