What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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