I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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