win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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