So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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