I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
