Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
