so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
