Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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