my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
