ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Life is so much better after having sex.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
