I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
