would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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