so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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