He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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