my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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