we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
