I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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