how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
