"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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