Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
