Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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