The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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