are you still at the devil's house?
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
