She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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