There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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