I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
they're like a gay fantastic four
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
