Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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