Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
