They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
