that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
