tell your sister to shave her snatch
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
