why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
