Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
