hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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