check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
