you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think my tv is drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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