ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
