Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
