let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
