Nicole vs. Life
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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