he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
