So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
