After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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